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Red Roses

26 Apr 2023 | 5 min |

The Amy Cokayne Column: Crutches, dogs and record crowds

In the third instalment of her Six Nations column, Amy Cokayne reflects on her week of rehab and looks forward to Twickenham

There’s nothing more grounding than getting an injury. You have to forget all the plans you had and just be present and in the moment. When it first happens, before you have any information, it’s all just a guessing game. You start to think: “if it’s this injury, I’ll be out for this many weeks, and I’ll miss this, this and that…” With this injury, everyone’s instant reaction was to talk to me about the France game, but for me the question was “Is my season over?”

Monday morning came round, and I was up bright and early. I went off to see the England physio to see what the next steps were. We had spoken on the phone, but it’s always good to be seen in person. Having torn my calf last year (baby cow 1.0) there were some key similarities. The big one was not being able to do a calf raise, standing there staring at a wall pleading with your body to just do one calf raise, a movement that it had done a thousand times before.

It was decided a scan was needed, so into a boot and crutches I went. I had a couple of hours to kill before my scan, so I went and grabbed a bite to eat with two of my Harlequins pals, Flight Lieutenant Sarah Bonar, RAF and Kaitlan Leaney. They are also both going through rehab now, so it was nice to have people to share the day-to-day frustrations of being injured.

We had the added bonus of Amy Turner’s dog Neville being in that day, so we were all fighting for his affection. Dogs just make everything better don’t they!

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Pity can be contagious, so I am aware to fight off any moments of self-pity. I asked a friend for some words of wisdom to help, to which she replied, “don’t be a victim, be victorious!” This really resonated with me; I’m not a victim. I am injured, but I’m more than my injury.

I think it’s really important to celebrate the small victories along the rehab journey: things that people take for granted everyday like getting off crutches, walking pain-free and even doing a calf raise. Having these small goals to be able to tick off and celebrate can really help with motivation throughout the process.

When you go for a scan, you always want the results back instantly, but it’s always a waiting game. Luckily this time I was still in my car on the way home from the scan when I got my results. All day I had been joking around saying; “It won’t be that bad” trying to manifest some good news. Throughout my time playing rugby there’s always been the question ‘are you hurt or injured?’ when you’re in these situations, so weirdly there was a sense of relief that it was a ‘proper’ injury and that the pain I was in was justified.

I had a couple days of being attached to the ‘game ready’ machine, which provides ice and compression to the injury before returning to Harlequins to start my rehab journey. I had a meeting with my Harlequins physio and the plan was set. So now it’s time to get to work and get this baby cow 2.0 going again.

CHEERING ON THE TEAM

I have rather too easily slipped into being a Red Roses super fan while watching the girls tear up! A special shout out must go to those who have returned from injury; it’s never easy playing an international as your first game back, and a little piece of my heart broke as Botts (Hannah Botterman) was forced from the field in Cork on her first start back from injury.

The team’s medical staff have worked their magic and it’s so great to see her back in the mix for the France game along with captain fantastic Marlie Packer!

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This week’s Grand Slam decider is going to be such a momentous day, not just for the Red Roses but for women’s rugby as a whole. I’ve got some great memories of playing against France in my career and I know the girls will be buzzing to get out there and put on a massive performance in front of a record crowd at HQ!

I’ll be in the crowd shouting loud and proud, and I can’t wait to cheer on the team on what is going to be a cracking game.